I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
