I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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