3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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