dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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