Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
