"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
