this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
