were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
