dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
