im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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