she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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