physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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