Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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