Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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