you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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