Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish you could order shots online.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
