I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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