Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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