He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
