1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
