So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want to be your penis for a week.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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