Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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