I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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