tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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