I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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