I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
