no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
