my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
