Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Damn victory sex feels great
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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