Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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