awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
