Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
