Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
