Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
