i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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