Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
