i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize