pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
