Welp...herpes.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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