I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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