Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
