wakey wakey hands off snakey
from now on my penis is your penis
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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