found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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