im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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