if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i think my cat just said my name.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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