fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
