I just cut my nipple shaving
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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