Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
