just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
