So drunk its hurt
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
