I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
