please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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