nut hugger
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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