i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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