like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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