STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
