new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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