Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
