smell my finger.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
