ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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